The Trailing-Edge Diet
By Phil Caravaggio
First published at www.johnberardi.com, Oct 25 2002.

Before I begin to expound my dieting philosophy, I would like to serve notice that this Diet (and you should be wary of all capital D Diets) is different from all the rest. I believe that it is incumbent upon any theorist who wishes to contribute to the cacophony of nutrition advice to prove that his is somehow different. If you set out to justify or advocate a theory, you had better have a damned good reason before wasting people's precious bandwidth.

I have a great reason: My diet is not nearly as good as many other diets.

Now I know that most of you already recognize this as the most brilliant reason ever given. However, I'm not naïve. I know that one or two of you are saying to yourselves, at this very moment: "Yes, in some ways that is the most brilliant reason ever given. But in many other ways, it is the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my life." To those people I say the following. Leave. Leave now, and don't let the door hit you on the way out. Ladies and Gentlemen, there is no place for logic here. Oh yes, and no "laws of thermodynamics" talk either. It's too confusing for me.

Today, I will usher in a new era in the field of nutrition. It's called The Trailing-Edge Diet, and it comes complete with yesterday's news and yesterday's theories. There will be no talk of refeeding, food combining, protein pulsing, or even calorie counting. There is no science to be found here, folks, and no formulas or calculators are necessary. There is a time and a place for all of those things (you will find them in many of the better diets I referred to), but this is neither the time nor the place.

This is a simple diet, for simple people -- an entry-level diet, if you will. It was conceived as a plan to bridge the gap between the terrible eating habits of average folk and the often confusing and seemingly contradictory information handed down by the scientific community. Eventually, you will want to make sense of that information for yourself. You will want to experiment with the cutting-edge diets, and parse whatever truth from them you can. At that stage, you are on your own. I certainly can't help you there.

However, I can help those of you who need to know what to do in the meantime. I can give you a plan that will help you learn the crucial skill of adherence. Here is what I propose:

• I will outline five healthy meals to eat, and for three weeks, you will eat the same five meals, over and over again. Good eating is a habit, and habits are born from repetition.
• Over this three-week period, you will undertake to inform yourself about the "better diets," and you will come up with a plan to optimize your nutrition, using this site and every other resource you can get your hands on.
• You will purchase your food at the grocery store, rather than the local fast food joint.
• You will prepare the food in advance, so that there is no excuse to eat crap for the sake of convenience.

Things you must not do during this period:

• You will not falter over this three-week period. You will not cheat, or even experiment during this period.
• You will not eat food that comes in a colorful wrapper, bag, box, or container. In fact, you will not eat food that comes in colorful packaging of any sort, unless it is explicitly allowed below. Better yet, eat only the food mentioned below, and all of it, unless a medical condition prohibits you from doing so. If that's the case, I want a doctor's note.
• The plan you begin the three-week period with is the plan you end it with. If you must make changes, you will do so at the beginning, and you will stick with them thereafter.
• You will not concern yourself with body composition changes, but rather with adherence to the plan. Don't mess with the plan.

It ain't optimal, and I know that. I can't give you optimal, I'm sorry. Even if I could, I'd jack the price so high that you couldn't afford it.

I realize that this sounds condescending to many of you. For that I am truly sorry. Sort of. Some of you have moved past this point in your nutritional careers, and perhaps you did so long ago. Regardless, every one of you knows someone who could benefit from something like this. (As Tony Robbins is fond of saying, maybe you know such a person intimately . . .) Print out a copy of this article, and send it their way. Unless of course they would be offended by it. In that case, print it up, fold it into a paper airplane, and aim for their eyeballs.

Basis for the diet:

• Easy to follow
• Simple to understand
• Relatively healthy
• Largely uncontroversial

The Oatmeal Concoction - 8:00 A.M.

• Nuke 1 cup of plain, generic rolled oats in the microwave. Yeah, I know the microwave has come under fire lately. While I worry about many things, this isn't one of them. I spend most of my time pondering the political strife at home and abroad, the fate of our economic institutions, and the proliferation of Peanut M&M's among today's youth.
• Mix in 2 scoops of vanilla-flavored protein powder. I don't care which brand, or really the type of protein. Most will do just fine.
• Mix in as many mixed berries as you can afford.
• Toss in some banana slices.
• Add a couple of spoonfuls of generic all-bran cereal.
• Add a just a small amount of honey for taste

EFA Supplementation:

• 4 capsules of a fish oil (assuming 30% EPA/DHA)
• 4 capsules of flax oil

The Omelet - 11:00 A.M.

• Yes, eggs are approved on The Trailing-Edge Diet. Before you lynch me or accuse me of conspiring with the Egg Council, let me say this: anything that is good enough to throw at the house of your worst enemy is good enough for you to eat. I have yet to hear anyone refute that statement.
• Egg contents: 3 whole eggs, 1 container of egg whites.
• Possible contents: red peppers, green peppers, onions, mushrooms, zucchini
• Forbidden: anything approaching the amount of butter and cheese usually associated with omelets. Honestly, I would rather you didn't add these things at all.
• Alongside the omelet, a cup or more of mixed vegetables. If you are feeling ambitious, cut some fresh vegetables. Otherwise, the prepackaged mix of carrots, peas, corn, etc. is fine.
• Top veggies with a tsp. of garlic and chili flavored flax oil.

EFA Supplementation:

• 4 capsules of fish oil

The Cottage Cheese Special - 2:00 P.M.

• Cottage cheese is one of the world's most versatile foods. Mixing it with almost anything vastly improves its taste and mouthfeel, which says something about cottage cheese in its original state. You might object that cottage cheese makes you gag, to which I respectfully respond, "Get over it." It will quickly become a staple of your diet, and rightly so. So with that bit of exposition out of the way . . .
• Dump a cup of cottage cheese into a bowl
• Mix in a small serving of vanilla yogurt
• Add strawberries, blueberries and banana slices
• You may add more protein in powder form if you like. I would say that chocolate protein powder tends to be more palatable in this scenario, but taste is highly subjective. If you do go that route, I would get rid of the vanilla yogurt.

EFA Supplementation:

• 4 capsules of fish oil
• 4 capsules of flax oil

The Big Salad - 5:00 P.M.

• Note: The chain of custody of The Big Salad is one of the crucial ethical issues of our time. Be sure to give credit to the purchaser of The Big Salad.
• Note: If you do not recognize the above pop-culture reference, you are not fit to begin The Trailing-Edge Diet. You are probably in great shape and spend little time watching prime-time television. Go back and watch Seinfeld reruns until you are truly prepared.
• Note: If you did recognize the reference, but thought that I used it in a way that was unfunny and unworthy of the source from which it came, you may continue.
• Grill two chicken breasts, cut them into strips, and let them cool.
• Mix up an Italian-style salad (yep, I'm biased), meaning primarily romaine lettuce. Other crisp lettuce varieties can also be added.
• Chop up plenty of tomatoes, cucumbers, red onions, green and red peppers, and any other veggies you might think appropriate. I do mean plenty - I want more than a pile of lettuce with a single cherry tomato on top.
• Dressing for the ambitious: Plain flax oil. Yes, yes. I know how it tastes. I can dream, can't I? Seriously, garlic and chili flavored flax will be fine.
• Dressing for the average: 1 part olive oil, 1 part garlic and chili flavored flax oil, 1 part red wine or flavored vinegar.

EFA Supplementation:

• 4 capsules of fish oil

The Sad-Looking Burger - 8:00 P.M.

• This is going to be the most pathetic looking burger you have ever eaten. I just wanted to warn you.
• Crack open your value pack of lean or extra lean ground beef.
• Make an 8 oz. patty
• Grill the above mentioned patty
• Place nothing on the burger. I repeat: place nothing on the burger. No bun, no condiments. Why? Because it's my diet, and I can do what I want with it. Please try to wrap your mind around that before asking such ridiculous questions.
• Along side the burger go a generous heaping of "stir-fry mix" vegetables and plenty of mixed beans.

EFA Supplementation:

• 4 capsules of fish oil
• 4 capsules of flax oil OR 1 tsp of liquid flax on the veggies

Additional Points

Supplements:

• There are two types of supplements allowed in The Trailing-Edge Diet: protein powders and EFA supplements
• Protein Powders: I usually pick up one tub of chocolate and one tub of vanilla, both being a whey/casein mix. When consumed in such small amounts, these purchases go a long way. As far as the brand/protein type, I'm completely indifferent. Some are better than others, but anything is better than nothing.
• EFA supplements: You must pick up flaxseed oil and fish oil. Flax oil comes in both liquid and capsule form, and the liquid form now comes with flavor options. I usually pick up flax capsules and flavored flax oil liquid. Generic fish oil, standardized for 30% EPA/DHA, is also a must.
• I want to make clear that these supplements are not optional. Take them.
• Many people spend far too much time deliberating over which brand to buy. Pick the one you think is best for now, and spend these three weeks researching the topic. You would be better off going to the local GNC, blindfolding yourself, spinning around, and picking a brand at random off the shelf in your dizzied state than if you postpone it any further. I would never exaggerate - not in a million years.
• All other supplements: NO! That includes the one you have in mind right now. If your diet is not in order, you are simply pissing your money away. If you've got a whole fistful of money that you're just dying to give to someone, send it my way so that I can buy some more groceries.

Pre/Post-Workout Nutrition:

• If I had to choose between consuming Biotest Surge or similar beverage and eating according to a well-thought out plan, I would take the latter every time. Lest you be confused here, so would JB. It's that simple. It would be nice to do both, but make sure your priorities are in order.

Morning/Bedtime Nutrition & Carbohydrate Tapering

• I don't care about any of these issues at this stage. The people I'm worried about are currently busy tapering their donut intake. Spend the time researching the issues, and make a decision in three weeks.

Food Variety

• While the idea of eating two of every species might be appealing, realistically your food choices will always be limited. It is important to limit them properly. Stick to what I've given you so far, and at the end of the trial period, make an educated decision as to how to continue.

Macronutrient Ratios

• Finding the "perfect" macros for an individual (i.e. 40% protein, 30% carbohydrate, 30% fat) is more of an art than a science. That said, without detailed record keeping, you could never manage this variable with any degree of accuracy. As long as you are in the ballpark (and this plan puts you in the ballpark, in my humble opinion), you'll be fine. If you want to refine my crude estimate three weeks from now, go nuts.

Caloric Intake

• Caloric intake (in terms an exact figure in calories for you to meet) is not that important to me. For the first three weeks, I would give the same diet to a newbie looking to gain muscle as I would to one looking to reduce body fat. Yes, you read that correctly. Mine is a one-size-fits-all diet. Three reasons: One, numbers hurt my brain. Two, formulas can only predict caloric intake, which is to say that their value is limited. They can give you a starting point and nothing more. Well, guess what? I can give you a starting point too -- my five meals! Three, I'd rather have people focus all their attention on adherence. Adherence to your plan is what will determine your success. In the beginning, the simpler the better. That the plan itself will have something to do with your success is not lost on me. You have our word that this is a good plan. Take the three weeks it affords you to go and find a great one.

Summary

Be on the lookout for self-justification. Excuses will keep you from the results you want. However, three weeks of consistent, sensible, and honest eating will put you further down the correct path than you might have imagined. Don't worry about the fine tuning. Just get the basics under control, and chip away at the small stuff over time. Now that you know what to do, go do what you know. Good luck, and keep us posted on the results.

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