John Berardi - Whole Milk and Integrity (Text Version)

Whole Milk and Integrity
By Lorne Opelr
First published at www.johnberardi.com, Dec 6 2002.

I must have been about 15 or 16 years old at the time. But I will never forget the experience. I had just ordered a bodybuilding correspondence course that promised me an amazing physique if I simply followed the principles outlined in the routine. What I received in the mail, once a week for 12 weeks, was an envelope containing my workout program for the next seven days. Some weeks the changes were minimal and only a new exercise was added to an existing regimen. Other weeks, the program was completely revised, providing a whole new weight room experience. But interestingly, going beyond the physical aspects of strength training, each packet always contained additional topics that were more related to living the bodybuilding life than to the latest training ideas.

In the final booklet I received there was a closing comment on the last page, a comment that has stayed in my mind ever since. This short piece wasn't focused on some new-to-me concept of pre-exhaustion or on one of the diets heavy in whole milk and dairy (remember, this was the 70's). Nope, instead it focused on the unique responsibility that comes with being a lifter. Now this may seem an odd addition to a packet on getting huge but it seemed to me that the authors were actually interested in sculpting attitudes, in addition to bodies. Although still a youngster, I was instantly attracted to this article because it presented a concept that is rarely included in any manual of bodybuilding information - the important role that character and integrity should play in life and especially in this often "follow the leader" culture.

Some of the ideas set forth on this page made a lot of sense to me, a young kid looking for direction, guidance, and inspiration. But of course, being young and wary of authority, some of it seemed preachy. Now, twenty-five years later, I reflect on these ideas and realize that the authors were right all along! Peeking back at the article with my mind's eye, I realize that this article reminded me that bodybuilding is not only the pursuit of an attractive physique.

Sure, most of us train to look better and I won't pretend to be an exception. I want to look bigger, more muscular, and more symmetrical. But I also want to be a more disciplined, confident, and courageous individual. Bodybuilding/weightlifting is a sport that inherently instills in its devotees so many worthy traits - discipline, self-affirmation, mental toughness, and courage. What this course taught me is that there is not only room for both physical and mental improvement but that it's our obligation to pursue both. Acting from this assumption it became a natural extension for me carry my physical and mental successes with a measure of humility. After all, if it's an obligation, then I'm not a super man for improving; I'm simply doing what I'm supposed to. Make no mistake, I'm definitely am attracted to strength and size, but I sure like the idea that I have the responsibility to carry this uniqueness with a quiet and confident pride.

After further reflection I think a second obligation has emerged. This obligation entails sharing one's weight room accomplishments with others who aspire to this way of life. Well, maybe it's not so much an obligation but it certainly is something laudable. After all, not only does bodybuilding provide the opportunity to develop muscles it offers the opportunity to build mentors as well.

Simply put, it's my opinion that the bodybuilding ranks need more people out there on the gym floor, in the squat rack, and under the chin up bar, sharing their training knowledge and victories with those who are eager but maybe uninformed, under informed, or just straight up hesitant for the lack of their own experience and confidence to join this brotherhood of iron. Too often I have witnessed and experienced the indifference and lack of interest that some longtime lifters exhibit towards the more novice weight trainer. While it's certainly not their obligation to help out the newbies, again, it's just good form to help out the other guys who are aspiring to physique greatness. After all, weren't we all at some point brand new to the weight room? Which guy walked into the gym for the very first time in his life already shredded with vein popping muscles? The most rock hard muscle head was once upon a time just another average guy with just another average body - who also probably struggled the first time he bench pressed two 45 pound plates.

Some of us, if not many of us, began our journey towards physique transformation because we wanted to look like someone we saw, who motivated us to pick up a barbell. There are so many dedicated, accomplished guys who can be that person to whom the newbie looks up to with respect and admiration. Indeed, being open, accessible and helpful to fellow first time (or any time) lifter is part of what makes the sport of bodybuilding one of character building. And it makes for a world full of stronger, more confident men and women. That latter reason isn't such a bad one either, is it?

So the next time you see a spindly self conscious young kid giving his everything to lift 110 pounds, or a beer bellied grandpa trying to hide his embarrassment and his gut, perhaps you'll think about what this "before picture" will look like after you give him a shove in the right direction.

See someone who looks like they need a spot? Offer one. Better yet, throw an extra 20lbs on the bar and show them that they are stronger than they thought. Can you appreciate how grateful that newbie would feel, to be driven on by a seasoned lifter who is glad to help out? The experience, however brief, that is shared in those 60 seconds is one that can literally pump that newbie up with inspiration, self-confidence and a sense of acceptance by his weight-training peers.

But attitude is just as important as actions. Do you think that just because you can bench three plates a side, you can be dismissive of the guy who can hardly bench one? I hope you aren't so impressed with your gym-cut body that you somehow feel immune from having to be decent and civil to anyone possessing less than a perfect physique. If so, it speaks volumes about your lack of character and integrity. Even worse, such an attitude only serves to reinforce negative behaviors in your peers while reinforcing the sense of intimidation that so many newbies experience on the gym floor. Just cause you look great in tees and shorts, of what earthly value is there to have attitude about it? If you've got a great body, people will notice it either way, whether you are jerky or genuine. So, why be a jerk?

One need not be a doctor of psychology to know that the most self confident, self secure guys in the gym are the ones that see past their own abs, well - not totally past them, but they do see enough to know that being available and accessible to help others is an asset. Here's an idea. If you see a newbie who's showing effort, dedication and resolve, don't hold back a compliment. Think of the positive lingering effect you can exert on someone else who is eager and needing some words of inspiration from someone who walks the walk. Of course, you're in there to work on your own body so I'm not advocating that you drop your weights and begin a lengthy conversation about the state of global nuclear disarmament or even about Ian King's training philosophy. After all, you're gym time is limited and you're in it to be serious, not to chatter. But how many nano-seconds out of your hour long work out does it take to simply acknowledge the hard work of someone who might look up to you as a weight room role model? If they try to start a lengthy conversation, it might be time for lesson #1. Tell them that working out, to someone who gets results, is like studying at the library or praying in church - and they wouldn't think to interrupt you while doing either of those activities, would they?

So, you might be wondering…why is any of this important? You may be asking, " Why is this guy so hung up on people being nice in the weight room?" The answer is simple. The weight room is simply a microcosm of the real world. I venture to say that those who are considerate of and thoughtful to their fellow lifters, are equally so to others in the real world. Lifters with attitude, on the other hand, carry that trait with them outside the gym too. And while that attitude may temporarily cut it in the gym, it quickly wears thin in the real world, where successful relationships, be they personal or professional, are based on respect, decency and support. Besides, regardless of the effects on you, personally, nudging newbies along helps to pave the way for a world that contains a lot more like-minded trainees who you can train with and hang out with beyond the weight room.

Bodybuilding is what built me up when I was 16, and it continues to do so - as much on the inside as on the outside. Weightlifting, it does the body - and the mind - good. Pass it on.